What is so offensive about laundry?

The guys over at Bay Easy decided to veer off what they do best (and by ‘what they do’ I really mean what they think they do), and comment about the state of affairs in Valletta.

They posted this photo and comment on their Facebook page;

Bay Easy comments about laundry in Valletta

“Is this still acceptable in the future European Capital of Culture? Pants and socks hang on a line IN THE STREET near Fort St Elmo in Valletta”

Of course the comments section soon filled up with badly written sentences and appallingly written words. Disgraceful, shameless, how awful, they all cried, but what is so offensive about laundry?

Malta is blessed with sun and gentle breezes, and on a beautiful day like today, yes you do your laundry and stick it outside to dry. If that so happens to be facing a street because there is no roof access then so be it, there is nothing offensive about laundry.

If Bay Easy wants to point their fingers and shame then why don’t they point at all those people who leave their car on, in the middle of the road, while they go to buy their ‘pakkett imsiemer’ (cigarettes), or those who think our roads are just one big landfill, or worse still those who drive their cars thinking they are an Ayrton Senna reincarnation?

That’s what’s offensive, not clean laundry hanging in the street, which is at the end of the day part of our culture and heritage. So yes, Bay Easy, this is still acceptable, even for the future European Capital of Culture, the beautiful Valletta.

Fifty Shades of BAAA!

An article on The Sunday Times today read “The tale of a virginal heroine who falls for a bondage-loving billionaire has shot right up to the top of Malta’s bestseller booklist, mainly by word of mouth.” No honey (person who wrote the article), it wasn’t by word of mouth, unless by word of mouth you actually mean ‘mentioned in every goddamn corner of the interne’.

The article continues with a quote from Miller distributors, who earlier this week decided not to import the latest issue of Dazed and Confused because of an R’n’B singer blowing a condom on the front cover, by saying “for every book we sell, we are selling about 20 copies of Fifty Shades”.

I am not that great at Maths, but such a statement scares me. I don’t know if it says more about the book or, of us as Maltese; that is, that the only reason we would buy and (hopefully) read a book is because everyone on the internet told us to. Looking back at Agenda’s past glories which include the Da Vinci Code and the Harry Potter series, one can immediately notice what all these books have in common, and I mean no disrespect to J.K Rowling.

Looks like us Maltese will only read a book if the rest of the world goes crazy about it. The fact that this happens to be an erotic book says nothing about us finally opening our minds and maybe becoming a little less prudish!

One piece of advice; If you really want to feel avant-garde and sexually liberated, I have some bad news for you – reading a book just won’t do it.

All you ladies out there, instead of reading Fifty Shades of Grey why not try giving yourself an orgasm? Your time will be well spent, and the next time you’re with a Mr Grey, or a Mr Black, or a Mr White you’ll know what you like and you will give him directions on how he can properly pleasure you.

Hell, instead of buying the book you would have been better off spending that money on a vibrator, which I promise would give you a lot more pleasure and satisfaction. And just in case you’re asking yourself where would I get a vibrator from, THIS LINK will take you to a local website which sells them.

And all you guys out there reading the book, fantasising and putting all those credits in your wank bank, I have one word for you; CLITORIS, look it up!

Let me conclude by saying that I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey and I don’t plan to because frankly it sounds dull and I know what kind of erotic novels tickle my fancy. Also I have nothing against people buying books, if it was up to me there would be a library in every locality, my problem is the sheep mentality. Unfortunately, at the end of this the questions remains, do Androids dream of sheep, or do they just follow you to the local bookstore and buy Fifty Shades of Grey?